chocolate is ALWAYS the answer

If I had had my camera with me I would have taken a picture, but I saw a sign in a chocolate shop today that read, "If you have a question, the answer is always chocolate." It is so true. Chocolate is immensely soothing, I have no idea what it is about the creamy richness that is chocolate, but it works miracles.





also today at work it was so frustrating I wanted to quit...on the other hand I won a third break...it helped with the de-stressing.

Untitled

confusion stirs and wakes within my veins

pouring fire from my soul.

ice cold memories trickle down my spine

tracing chilly fingers down gooseflesh.

stifling my chest and pulling slowly 

on baited breath.

where do these feelings come from?

what do they mean?

fear racing fear? 

New Job

So I started working at Pinnacle Security, two weeks ago...and I just finished training today! Yes! I feel more ready than before at least to handle angry customers and assuage the elderly when they can't work all that crazy new computer stuff. It's been a lot of fun..a lot of stress, but a lot of fun.

Ok, so I've never thought of myself as being overly competitive, but recently I've noticed myself leaning that way.   I am so competitive with Luke, it's sometimes just really frustrating and I have to take a break from whatever we are doing so I don't get upset for no reason other than I can't beat him. The same thing has cropped up at work, where we are supposed to get referrals...I suck at getting referrals. No one wants to give them to me, but Jordan he gets at lease 5 day so far...I must be cursed because I think everyone has received referrals except me. It's frustrating because I want them so badly so I can beat Jordan...who knows why I care so much, but apparently today I do...

we will see what Monday brings...if I ever find out what time I am supposed to show up. :/ fail.

purpose of a blog

So, I have been thinking about this recently. Why are there so many blogs creeping up all over the internet. All of a sudden everyone has a blog. But about what? Were blogs once established to fulfill a certain purpose, such as inform society on certain issues or insightful comments on the happenings in society? Now they seem to have lost purpose because everyone has one. And now people just write whatever they feel like, it has no insight or intelligence, just mindless dribble. Like Olive's fav teacher on Easy A says, "I don't know what it is with your generation and documenting your every thought, but they aren't all gold. 'Roman is having an okay day, and bought a coke zero. Raise the Roof.'" hahaha oh how I love this movie... :)

I am on the journey now, to discover a purpose for my blog so it ceases to be mindless commentary and can be valued for it's insight someday. Golden thoughts.

Active Mind-Set

So, I've been struggling for about two weeks now with this feeling that I can't seem to shake for long. It comes and goes and doesn't really seem to go with anything in particular. I can't seem to find what brings it on. It feels like there is a vice grip on my chest preventing my ability to breathe easily and it goes all the way down to my tummy. It's worse in my stomach it has an acidic unsettled feeling. It felt to me like maybe I've made a mistake or maybe I'm jut extremely nervous. Both of those options are very viable. I just don't know why...I've been praying to have the feeling go away, but it persists in coming back.


Anyway yesterday I was talking with my boyfriend about...I don't know life situations and dealing or coping with issues that can come up. I found myself playing devils advocate or defending people in my life who aren't coping very well with the hand they've been dealt. After listening to him talk for a bit, I realized his thoughts on the subject were exactly how mine used to be...how they still should be. Then in church today I thought, "Well Kiy, let's fix this. Life doesn't have to be how it is now. Where all I do is passively sit by and let life run its course over me, stressing about the little things and fearing everything that is different." I mean come on, who's life is perfect? No one's is. So why do I stress like mine should be, and what if I make the wrong decision? Now I choose to say, "If I make the wrong decision, so be it. As long as I make it with conviction! The Lord will help guide me on my path to exhalation." So starting today, I will actively choose my own path and no longer fret over the little things, but "rejoice, for I know he is my God and will protect and watch over me" (this is a scripture, not word for word or anything..) 


I love the Lord and if I truly believe and have faith in him then I WILL not fear, but conquer all my fears through him. I will be saved by his grace, after all that I can do and I honestly believe that. The Lord has told me multiple times, he has high expectations for me and therefore I will not lower my expectations for myself. I will persevere on and try my hardest and do my very best to succeed and come out on top in every area: mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically. I need to push myself in ALL those areas for a successful life.


and I will.

Work Friends

So I started a new job at Pinnacle on Monday doing customer service phone work. The training has been decent and it seems like it will be a decent job. The people I work with have been phenomenal too. We just have fun, laughing and joking around as we try and figure the way to all sorts of customer service adventures with both happy and upset costumers. We also get as many dum-dum lollipops as we want, which is an added bonus. I pretty much wish that customer service is as fun as training is. I doubt it though, because I have to spend all my  time talking to customers instead of my new friends. Ali and I spent a lot of time quoting movies and singing the chorus to J-Lo's On the Floor today. It made work fun instead of the monotony it can be.

somewhere only we know

Love This Song!

Something about this song floating in the background of one of my favorite movies of all time: He's Just Not That Into You. Ginnifer Goodwin and oh what's that guy's name from Accepted...anyway the last scene where Ginnifer says, "but I'm not the exception...I'm the rule." and he says: "You are my exception" and then kisses her. Awe...heart-melting. It is just so romantic. It gets me every time. 

                                                                                                  sometimes I listen to this song over and over pretending I'm Ginnifer.                  

only 35 calories :)

neurogasm. 
promotes healthy circulation
enhances the pleasure response
antioxidant support
provides anti-aging benefits

This red rocket shaped bottle hints at the allusion of pleasure caused by the vitamins in this drink. It tastes nasty, but I bet people are drinking this up in hopes that it actually does increase blood circulation. The things that people will spend money on...As Olive from Easy A says:


"Y’know, medical science has
not substantiated claims that any
particular food increases sexual
desire or performance.  It’s so
funny when guys ply women with food
that they think is gonna get them
laid.  I mean, what’s really sexy
about slurping back oysters?  You
know, native people believed that
you gained the strength of the
animal by consuming it.  Some
people grind up rhinoceros horn,
because it’s thought to stiffen the
male sex organ.  It’s all bullshit.
And spanish fly?  It’s pulverized
beetle that people eat!  Although,
it’s illegal for human consumption
in the United States and do you
know why?  Because if you take just
a bit too much, it causes painful
urination, fever and bloody
discharge."